I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
