Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
