This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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