kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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