I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
