I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
