guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
