Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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