Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's never too late to be topless.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
