If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
