If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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