So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
