I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
