I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
