Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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