You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
