We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
