Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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