Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
this boner is exhausting
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
