Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
