Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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