Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's official drugs can't kill me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
