but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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