she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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