I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
