So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
