Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
