Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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