Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
