i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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