okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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