The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize