sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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