so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
