dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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