It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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