Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
