She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
