How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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