I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
