So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
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I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
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When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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