I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
