you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
