so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
