we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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