this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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