i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
