is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
