she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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