I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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