just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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