But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
