i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
