So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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