the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
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I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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