the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize