He asked to "fluff my boner.."
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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