i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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