ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
