Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize