____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
