If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
