Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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