Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
