I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
