Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
